Part of the challenges in traveling with other people is understanding and setting expectations. I believe that most confrontations can be avoided with a frank conversation. Below I’ve created a short 13 question quiz on some of the most common friction points to help facilitate that discussion. This can be done before traveling with a new person, but it can also be useful before each trip. Even if you have traveled together before, every trip is different, and your companion might have different expectations on level of activity for a beach trip than visiting a capitol city. It’s also important to remember, there are no right or wrong answers – and even answering these questions for yourself might help you make decisions and understand your own priorities.
- How full are your days? I think this is the most important question for any group of travelers.
- On the go – gone from sun-up past sun-down
- Want to see as much as possible without running ragged – maybe one event in the morning and one in the afternoon / evening
- This is vacation and should be relaxed. Sleeping in and a nap are a priority. There might be one planned activity a day.
- Don’t plan anything, we will figure it out when we get there, but I don’t plan
- How planned are your days? This dovetails nicely with the first question but has a different nuance.
- Very ridged – the trip will be planned down to the minute and there are no deviations
- Well planned – the trip should be well planned but open to deviations based on the weather, if another opportunity presents itself, our mood etc…
- Plan the basics – plan the basics like hotel and major attractions but nothing else
- Don’t plan anything – this is an adventure, and we will figure it out as we go
- Walking / Level of Activity
- Walk as much as possible – more than 10 miles a day is fine.
- Walk as much as reasonable to maximize time and seeing the sites – 5-10 miles a day
- Walk only as much necessary to get around – 1-5 miles a day
- No walking – hotels must have elevators and only travel by vehicle
- Money?
- Only live once – I want to do and see as much as possible
- Willing to spend on the big things but not go overboard
- Splurge on one or two priorities but then keep to a fairly strict budget
- Most of the good things are free – no need to spend a lot of money to have a great time
- Hotel?
- 5-star name brand hotel with all the comforts of home
- Someplace centrally located with character and a fun vibe
- Keep costs low but stay safe / clean location that fits our trip plans
- Hostel or couch surfing – no need to spend much money we will be out most of the day
- Meals / Food?
- I am a foodie – 3 full meals a day + cooking classes & food tours
- Food is important but I’ll willing to give up a full meal every once in a while, in order to maximize our time
- I am good with 1 or 2 meals a day and playing the rest by ear
- Who wants to spend time and money eating. Grocery stores and food trucks are fine.
- Photos?
- It’s all about the photos and I need the perfect shot.
- Photos are important and time needs to be built in to make sure I have time to get some good shots
- I’ll take a few photos at every stop with my phone but I don’t need more than a few minutes
- Live in the moment, I don’t need photos to create memories.
- Shopping?
- I need a significant amount of time devoted to shopping.
- I need some time to pop in and out of stores throughout the day.
- I might want to walk through a market or into a store occasionally, but shopping is not a priority.
- I don’t want to do any shopping and will be annoyed if it takes up too much time.
- Off the Beaten Path or Tourist Route?
- Things are famous for a reason – I want to see it
- I definitely want to see all of the famous sights but also plan a little time to explore off the beaten path
- I can see the iconic places in a guidebook or YouTube – I want to live like a local
- Early Bird or Night Owl?
- Both, let’s do and see as much as possible.
- I am up early and prefer to maximize daytime and then get a good night’s sleep
- It depends on the place and events. I am flexible based on what makes sense.
- Nightlife is the heart of every destination. Let’s prioritize evening activities even if it means getting a late start or needing a nap in the middle of the day.
- Interests and focus for the trip?
- Museums and historical sights
- Outdoor adventure
- Wildlife
- Live music, festivals, bars
- Whatever makes a place famous
- Comfort or Adventure? – This can apply to both physical comfort and emotional comfort
- A 5* hotel, airconditioned tour, both feet on the ground kind of traveler
- Middle ground with basic comforts but willing to risk some discomfort to enhance the experience
- Funky locally owned lodging, chicken bus, up for anything kind of traveler
- Spending time alone or always in a group? – I think this is one of the most important questions because it will help compromise and alleviate issues with some of the above areas.
- Spending time together is important and we should stay together then entire trip.
- I prefer to spend time together but am ok splitting off if we want to do separate things for a few hours
- I prefer to spend time alone and will see you when we both make it back to the room
Finally, just as important as knowing the preference and expectations of your traveling companion, it is important to know yourself and where you can compromise. As an example –
I prefer to stay busy and to be on the go. But If I know someone wants to a slower schedule, I can support with some time on my own. But I am almost never ok with just sitting around the hotel and playing it by ear.
I am a morning person. I am up with the sun and tend to go to sleep early. I can stay up late once in a while if it is important but it is not my natural state and I don’t do it often. This is most frustrating to those that travel with me.
I love to walk and that is my preferred way of seeing a city. I know everyone is not up for 15 miles a day but I will get cranky pretty quickly when I’m stuck in traffic because someone wasn’t willing to just walk the extra mile or two.
If left to my own devices, I tend to eat 1 or 2 meals a day, but some of my favorite traveling companions value food more than I do… and when traveling with them, we often compromise that we will have 3 meals a day unless we can’t due to an early departure and I’ve even scheduled a food tour (and enjoyed it.)
Life Kinetic Travel Research 